My Cucalorus Experience!!!

This was my first year attending Cucalorus in Downtown Wilmington. I did not know what to expect, for I have never been to any film festival. I really enjoyed myself, however! I went to all of my screenings this past Thursday. Although I saw five very different feature length films, I did have a favorite. The first film I watched was Forever Pure. It was a feature length documentary about Beitar Jerusalem, the leading professional soccer team in Jerusalem. I had not read the description before purchasing my ticket, yet I was pleased with the subject matter. I am a soccer fan, and I happen to love documentaries, so the pair was a match made in heaven. At first, I thought this film was going to tackle surface level soccer rivalries, but it extended so much farther than that. The film dealt with societal issues regarding race and religion, going beyond the soccer field. Beitar Jerusalem's owner decided to draft two Chechen transfers. This sparked outrage amongst La Familia, Beitar Jerusalem's fan base. Israel has always been against Arabs, therefore why would sports be any different. The fan base dissipated, thus the team starting losing during the season. I had hope that the film would end on a happy note, and in a way it did for some players. Ariel Harush, the former captain, went on to become a star player for Beitar Jerusalem's top rival. Ofir Kriaf became the new captain. The new transfers played for other teams. But Beitar's new management said they would never sign another Arab, which infuriated me. Stylistically, the film was extremely well made, and all the B-roll completed the subject matter beautifully. This film reminded me of a film we screened in FST 200 about soccer not only being a sport, but a livelihood in other countries. It is a massive part of some country's society and culture, therefore has major influence on the way people interact with one another.

Cucalorus Screening Plan

As the week of Cucalorus is approaching, I have started planning out which films/workshops I hope to attend. I want to take advantage of not having class on Thursday, therefore I am going to a few features. The first is a documentary feature titled "Forever Pure" and that screening is from 1:30-3pm in Thalian Main. The next few features are narratives: "Fare" from 4:15-5:45pm in Thalian Black, "Women Who Kill" from 7-9pm, and "She's Allergic to Cats" from 10:15-11:59pm.

I'm trying to decide when to see another event. Dancealorus, which happens on Wednesday night, sounds interesting. I am also considering a few shorts events on Sunday.

Self Portrait Film Concept

A self portrait film is an artistic work that mirrors its creator. The project can show one aspect of the person, or many aspects, and in order to successfully do so, one must know oneself. Although I feel like I have a strong sense of self, I wanted to get other opinions. I asked my Facebook friends what they think of when they think of me: passions? personality traits? first impressions?

Here were some of the answers:

• Go-getter
• Dreamer
• Bubbly personality
• Tries everything once
• Fearless
• Talented
• Adventure-seeking
• Confident
• Hardworker
• Sporty
• Amiable
• Christ impassioned

Taking all of these into account, along with my own self analysis, I decided to show a change over time. While those around me find it difficult to believe, I was not always the extroverted, talkative, adventurous woman I am today. Before coming to college, I was burdened with insecurities, which ultimately pulled me away from others. I let my insecurities mask themselves as shyness, and as a result I avoided making friends, trying new things, and exploring. 

The old Lauren constantly dealt with an internal battle: I knew what I wanted to do, and that was to try various sports, talk to everyone I came in contact with, join the school choir, explore other areas of interests with my artistic abilities. But my actions spoke differently. I hid amongst my small friend group, did not try any sports, quit dance, went to school and then went home. It was as simple as that, but there was no satisfaction. Often I felt invisible, brought on mostly by myself. I rarely pushed myself to step outside my comfort zone. I liked being just another face one passes in the hallway, or so I thought. Not only did I confine myself, but I felt confine by society. Society told me based on my gender, I had to act a certain way. I had to be "lady like" all the time, meaning I had to wear dresses, cross my legs, refrain from using bad language, and not surround myself with guys. This became problematic. While I have never been a tom boy, I do enjoy participating in activities that society considers "boyish". I enjoy playing sports, video games, and anything outdoors. I like to wear comfortable clothes (although indulge in the occasional dress or skirt). I get along with guys very well, therefore a lot of my time is spent with guy friends. Internally, I wanted to be myself - play sports, go on adventures, push myself. Externally, I stuck with my usual routine.

College. Things began to change. This acceptance letter was my one way ticket to freedom. Freedom from the constraints tied so tightly around my body and mind. I knew college would provide an avenue for finding my true self, and I came at it with full force. Immediately, I became a social butterfly. I made many friends, both guys and girls, joined a worship team to expand my talents, declared a film major, and have been loving life ever since. Slowly I began to stand out from the crowd, a feeling I thought I might never experience. I have reached a point in my life where I am perfectly content with myself and have the confidence to express who I am. 

With all of this in mind, I wanted to use this project to show the drastic change in my personality from high school to college. For the first half of the video, I wanted to keep everything in black and white, then slowly introduce color to further hint at a transition from old to new. To pull in aspects o my artistic side, I wanted to layer shots of my arms or leg against a background, and using body paint to blend my body into the frame through camouflage - this point is to show my desire to be invisible. But slowly I wanted to fade and expose myself. I plan on doing a voiceover narration, and filming on my GoPro. Basically, I am going to take everyone on an adventure through my day to day life, with POV shots. I still have a lot more to think about conceptually, but this is my basic idea. It's a starting point.

How To Produce A Music Video

When I received news that I was the producer for the experimental music video, I felt a mix of emotions. Mostly excitement, but part of me was concerned because there is no simple answer to the question 'what does a producer do?'. From the little that I do know about producing, I understand one must be extremely organized, work well with others, and be on their A game 24/7. I would say I am a timely, organized individual who loves people, therefore I knew producing could be something I excel at. When it comes to producing a music video, the producer is in charge of location scouting, talent, budget, and logistics when it comes to pre-production.

After talking with the director, Parker, we both agreed on filming locations. We want to film at a house in downtown Wilmington, and then transition to a rooftop showdown on top of Betsy's, the restaurant Parker works at. I contributed ideas for the artists and song, so we decided to go with a few musicians I have played with before. We are having them perform a cover of the Killers "Mr. Brightside". I am the primary contact between the artists and the crew, therefore I have been in constant communication with Grey, Noah, and Bradley (our musicians), giving them information about the audio recording schedule, the shooting schedule, costumes, etc.

Not only am I the producer for this project, but I am in charge of set design, costumes, and makeup - a crucial component for this music video. Since the project is experimental, much of the aesthetic appeal comes from set design. For our video, we decided to follow a somewhat narrative structure by having a "battle" between a rockstar and his crew, with the devil. Parker and I thought we could play with lightness and darkness. We are going to set up the house scene with a large black tarp, puncture holes through it, and stream light through to create a really eerie and jarring effect. To highlight the devil character, we are going to have red lights fastened onto the top of his costume to create under lighting. The costumes for the rockers are going to appear punk rock in style, with lots of leather, fur, and dark colors. I already bought a few vests and some grunge pants, as well as a fur vest for the lead singer. The devil character will be wearing more of a "mariachi band"style, with a burgundy velvet sports jacket, gold shoulder pads, sombrero, while carrying an all metal guitar. For makeup, I decided to go with the guy liner for the rockers, eccentric hairstyles that spike up, and possibly dye the hair to a more vibrant blue to add a pop of color and contrast against the background. Our group really aims to sell this "showdown" concept, and I believe we can accomplish it through contrasting costumes amongst the characters, and the extreme lighting set up.

Composing with Light

For assignment 1C, we were required to shoot on film. This experience was very different from those in my other film classes, for in previous shoots, we used video cameras and everything was digital. With digital equipment, it is easier to manipulate the amount of light, the white balance, the focus, and depth of field, but using an old school camera is another monster. One thing I had to learn was how to use a light meter. Basically, light meters are used to determine the appropriate shutter speed and f-stop based on the amount of light entering the camera. The light meter takes into account natural light, adjusting the levels as light fluctuates. This helps us determine where to set our camera's f-stop. Another thing we had to learn when doing this project was the importance of bracketing. With digital cameras, it is not necessary to take photos at different exposure levels, because we can quickly adjust the settings. With cameras that use film, it is uncertain whether the photo will turn out like planned after it is developed, therefore we must take three different photos: one underexposed, one overexposed, and one normal. This ensures that at least one of the photos will look like we intended it to look. Although we live in a digital age, I enjoyed using older equipment. It gave me a new appreciation for photography, showing that a lot of thought and time goes into lighting and camera placement.

Light Observations (3)

In part 1C of the FST 302 Project, the groups had to go out and take photos, using three different exposures. My group decided to go to the Wildflower Preserve on campus to take some nature shots. The first shot I took was a closeup of moss on the bark of a tree. The forest we photographed in was very dense, therefore the lighting was not as bright as we wanted it to be. Plus, it had recently rained, and the sky was still gloomy. With this in mind, we had to use a smaller F-stop, to let more light in. The lighting was hitting the moss from the back, but I thought it created a nice highlight around the exterior of the moss.

My group took a few more photos in the Wildflower Preserve where there was more light, and less canopy coverage on top. We got a few long shots of grass and flowers. The F-stops were a little bigger (in number) than the one of the moss, because the lighting was a tad brighter in those areas.

The last place we decided to go to take photographs was the south end of Wrightsville Beach. We went at nighttime, a nice change from the other photos we took. We went to the beach around 11pm - there was practically no ambient light, only artificial from street lights and our phones. I took a close up of a palm tree, and since lighting was sparce, we created our own through phone lights. I placed one phone at the back, and one to the side, casting a nice shadow to the right of the tree. Obviously, our F-stop was on the smallest number, due to the limited lighting.

What I Learned About Sound Design?

The sound design project was designed to make us rely more on our ears than our eyes. In film, obviously the eyes dominate the five senses, and sound is often put on the back burner, but this project challenged me to realize the importance of sound. Listening to each soundscape in the dark was a neat experience - I was able to completely block off my sight sense and just listen to the sounds for what they were; the layers, the movement, the construction, the pictures created in my head.

The first soundscape we listened to was David, Kendall, and Miko's group. Initially, I pictured a graveyard scene in my head. The sounds of heavy breathing established a consistent tempo, along with the bell toll and rain. There was a shift halfway through that changed to a calmer, mysterious ambient sound. After class discussion, we agreed the soundscape symbolized waking up from a nightmare.

The second soundscape was created by Paul, Walt, and Danet. Immediately, I realized there was more of a narrative feel to the layered sounds. The conversation with Parker's mom that was used, paired with the car door, revealed this "person" was driving somewhere. There were sounds of metal clanging, chattering, and abrupt noises, indicating a public setting. Interestingly enough, the title the group chose was "Marriage Temple", and that proved to me how sound can be interpreted in various ways when a visual stimuli is not present.

I really enjoyed the soundscape created by Porshia, Ashley, Nick, and Joshua. They had a lot of dynamic transitions between loud and soft sounds - very crowded, busy, on-the-go. Throughout the soundscape, there was a constant ticking noise that indicated passage of time. The class as a whole agreed it was self reflexive, drawing attention to the medium, but I viewed the soundscape as "a day on a movie set". I talked with Ashley after, and she said that is exactly what the group was going for. Despite some people not interpreting the soundscape correctly, I liked how various sounds paired together can create different pictures in everyone's mind.

All in all, I believe that was ultimately the point of this assignment. To learn how to manipulate and pair sounds together without visual stimuli, in order to create a new art form. This project definitely allowed a lot of artistic freedom to flow, and truly reveals the power sound has in media.

The Absolute Film

We were assigned The Absolute Film, written by Dr. William Moritz. As stated in the article, this term was coined through comparison to "absolute music", which is defined as music that has "no reference to a story, poetry, dance, ceremony...besides the essential elements - harmonies rhythms, melodies." Mainstream music tends to follow a pattern, have an overarching message to its rhyme and reason, but absolute music does not. Similarly with absolute film, the film itself does not follow a plot line or rely on human characters to convey a story. The visuals created on screen do not present a story, but rather an aesthetic. Absolute film falls under the realm of experimental, and immediately I thought of Stan Brakhage while reading this article. The article talks about various filmmakers, specifically Hans Stoltenberg, who painted directly on the filmstrips. Brakhage practiced this same technique with his films using other materials where direct manipulation of the film was created, such as Mothlight. 

Jonas Mekas Presentation

Last Thursday, Natalie spoke on the life of Jonas Mekas - "the godfather of American Avant-garde". As a student interested in experimental, I found her presentation on this largely influential person in film fascinating. One aspect of Mekas' style that was touched on was his interest in rhythmic film. With recent discussion on synesthesia and cymatics in class, I can see why this figure was chosen to be presented to the class. The idea of movement and flow of not only music, but the way in which the film itself is presented, is artistic to say the least. As Mekas defines it, "cinema is light, movement". Intentional decisions to put a clip here or there in order to establish a particular rhythm is an art form in itself.

In the presentation, a point that was emphasized was the term coined by Mekas as diary film, meaning a film that looks at snapshots of one's life. This "slice of life" filming reminded me of French New Wave cinema, a genre we explored in FST 200 and excessively in upper level film classes last year. French New Wave films focused on the everyday man, his family life, and his day to day activities, with little to no embellishments. The idea was simplicity, something Mekas practiced in his experimental films.

I cannot help but draw comparisons between Mekas and French New Wave filmmakers. Mekas believed in the notion of "defiant amateurism", meaning he intended to style his films in a way that appeared less professional - shaky, handheld, repetitive. Similarly, in French New Wave, yet perhaps less intentional, the young filmmakers only had access to certain types of equipment. They had to make the most of what they had and be creative with the ways in which they film. The result appeared somewhat amateur to older filmmakers and critics, yet it became part of the style.

Jonas Mekas assisted in the establishment of Avant-garde style in America, as seen through his rhythmic, slice of life films and "amateur" technique. This paved the way for future experimentalists.

Synesthesia and Cymatics

In class last Thursday, we discussed two intriguing topics - synesthesia and cymatics.

Synesthesia being "the production of a sense impression relating to one sense or part of the body by stimulation of another sense of part of the body". This concept fascinated me, and part of me developed jealousy that I was unable to combine two senses, as discussed in the video we watched. To be able to combine taste with hearing, or sight with smell, is mind-blowing. I remember while watching the video, I tried to think back at times where I too could smell colors or hear tastes. Even throughout the video, I thought I could smell the visuals on the screen - but alas, I think it was a placebo effect instead. Randomly this weekend, my friend Brooke started talking about how she can taste colors and hear smells. I immediately turned to her and diagnosed her. I knew she had synesthesia! That was neat to apply something we talked about in class and use it only a few days after. She had no idea why she could do the things that she did, but that has changed.

Another idea discussed in class was cymatics. Cymatics is defined as "the study of wave phenomena, especially sound and their visual representations". I am a visual learner, a filmmaker, and an artist. This concept allowed me to see sound. The designs created through sound vibrations. I knew sound waves followed a certain pattern, however I could not visualize those patterns until watching the video with the sand shifting on the pan. Sound is its own art form.

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My Sound Recording Experience

The ability to hear has always been one of my favorite senses - because it is so unappreciated and quite frankly, taken for granted, I have gravitated towards it. I grew up in a musical family. My dad and brother were gifted instrumentalists, so naturally I was molded into a musician as well. Playing a musical instrument brings certain things to life that you would not notice otherwise, and that is the power of sound. My ear has been trained to hear the quietest ring or the deepest hum. I can tell when something is out of tune or off balance. A very useful skill, it can also be annoying. But regardless, having a good ear did help me during the soundscape project.

My group did not have a structured plan regarding what we were going to record.We did it as we went, and I feel that was still effective - it made the recording process more natural, and we were able to pick up sounds we would not have thought to pick up otherwise. My group recorded a few ambient sounds from popular locations on campus (Randall library, outside Kenan, parking lots, etc.) and acquired lots of human sounds from listening in on conversations, but my favorite sounds to gather were the sound effects. This was the first time I was able to experiment with foley. Another interest of mine, I have always found foley impressive. Andre mentioned in films that had scenes of birds flapping their wings, often times leather gloves were used to create the sound effect - how cool is that! My group brought quite a few extraneous items, such as trash bags, soda bottles, a toothbrush on a laptop case, to obtain some unique noises. It amazes me how realistic certain effects can sounds, even though they are fabricated.

All in all, I had a pleasant sound recording experience. I had done something similar in my 201 class when we made another soundscape, so this was familiar territory for me. That being said, no recording experience is the same, and I enjoyed furthering my knowledge with the equipment and sound itself.

Response on Theory of the Film: Sound

Bela Balazs stresses the importance of sound in film in his article Theory of the Film: Sound. In a world and industry dominated by striking visuals, sound is put on the back burner, so to speak, and the audience generally underrates the necessity of sound when it comes to film. One claim Balazs makes that I appreciate is "The sound of a wave is different if we see its movement", because that is an idea I've never thought about before. At first, his claim does not appear to make any sense. How can a sound be perceived differently when it's isolated from the source? I tested out this theory, closing my eyes in my apartment and simply listening to the sounds I heard - the clock ticking, the roar of the refrigerator, the opening and closing of doors in the hallway. Ever noise I heard was amplified, attaining a new presence that I would not have heard had my eyes been open. The eyes typically take center-stage when open, while the ears fall to the sides, yet this experiment challenged that.

Another point I loved about Balazs' article was his interest in silence. My FST 200 class talked about the significance of silence briefly, and how it can often be more powerful than the loudest explosion one hears on screen. Balazs writes "The widest space is our own if we can hear right across it and the noise of the alien world reaches us from beyond its boundaries", which is a neat thought that sound alone can create depth without the aid of visuals.

One of the final points Balazs made deals with educating the ear. Coming from a musical background (piano, flute for 8 years, and now a vocalist), ear training has been drilled into me, and while it is more difficult to distinguish sound than visuals, sounds are nonetheless important. The ear is just as sensitive, if not more, than the eye, with the capacity to distinguish many degrees of sounds. We live in a superficial society, putting stock into appearance, thus art is reduce to a strictly visual form - photographs, films, drawings. Through making a conscious effort, the ear can be trained just as well as the eye, and I believe that is what Balazs was trying to accomplish.

Do You Hear What I Hear? (Part 2)

As I return to the safety and comfort of my apartment, I think I've escaped the noisiness of campus. While there is definitely less sound inside my apartment, noise is still very much apparent. The sound of doors opening and closing as my roommates make their way inside bounce off the walls. The hum of the refrigerator fills the kitchen, along with the squish of the dishwasher. Even as I sit on my bed typing this, the click of the keys on the keyboard resonate. From next to the window, I hear the roar of the radiator, which never seems to dissipate. Sounds I usually wouldn't notice began to make themselves known, and I hear the buzz of the electric currents inside the overhead lights of my bedroom. My own breathing takes center stage when I'm alone in my room, and I can hear my pulse again.

Do You Hear What I Hear? (Part 1)

Amidst the hustle and bustle of a college campus, there are quite a few sounds that go unnoticed while making my way down Chancellor's Walk. With intentionality in mind, I listened to the various noises around me while outside, on my way to class. The obvious source of sound comes from the chatter among students, usually about class schedules and the abundance of homework each has, despite it being only the third week of school. I hear the roar of longboards as ride over the wooden bridges, the clank of the bike chains, the music playing entirely too loudly through headphones in the ears of students. Feet shuffle along the cement and book bags rustle, full of notebooks and pens. From time to time, I hear coughs and sniffles. Hidden beneath the man-made sounds, there are more subtle tones. The sounds of birds chirping in the distant trees, the wind blowing through the leaves and grass surrounding the sidewalk, even the blood pumping through my veins (especially when I'm walking to class in the mornings when there is practically no one on campus). Sometimes I hear the consistent breathing of people as they pass by, unaware of the audible sounds they are creating.

All About Me

Veterinarian School - that was my future... but something changed. It was not until senior year of high school when I realized I wanted to channel my artistic tendencies into a career and leave my zoology-intended major behind. I took a film class, Cultural Media Literacy, and my whole perspective on entertainment as a whole shifted. Film was no longer a form of media that brought me into an imaginary world, a place to escape, or to watch passively. Film was a creative outlet that challenged the mainstream, constructed aesthetically striking stories with dynamic characters that were full of life, and allowed the viewer to actively engage with the pictures flashing on the screen in front of them.

At this point in my life, I am on the path towards animation. I have always been a huge fan of Pixar and Disney (funny, because they are as mainstream as you can get, but nonetheless I love the timeless stories they produce). I identify as an artist, with the drawings I create as well as the ideas that manifest in my mind. Being able to translate those ideas into a tangible film would be a dream come true. Walt Disney said it best "All dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them". Especially when it comes to the film industry, it is challenging to become successful, however it all depends on how you define success. My definition of success is if I am able to make the most of my talents and ideas, putting forth as much effort as I can and making my best attempt. As long as I am happy, I believe success will fall into place afterwards.

Despite wanting to work for a massive animation corporation, experimental film is another one of my interests. For my FST 205 class last semester, I played around with clay-mation, a task both daunting and rewarding. A very time consuming process, I still enjoyed experimenting with a medium I was not use to. It gave me a new appreciation for those independent filmmakers who take the time to go off the tracks and try something new and different, even if the final product is not accepted by the general public. The freedom that comes with avant-garde style film is captivating - being given the chance to truly make the film of my dreams without any repercussions is comforting, to say the least.

So here I sit, a 20 year old in her apartment, slowly figuring out what I want to do with my life. Things may be confusing and scary right now as I attempt to plan out my future, but at least I can wrap myself in the comforting arms of filmmaking.

Week 1 Reading Responses - Deren and Camper

Often times when I hear the word "amateur filmmaker", I automatically assume that is someone who is not as experienced, does not have high quality equipment, and cannot execute technical maneuvers as well as a professional. This word has a negative connotation attached to it. Maya Deren challenges this misconception in her article Amateur vs. Professional. Her initial argument deals with the true meaning of the word "amateur", which translates to "lover" in Latin. The basis for her argument is the amateur filmmaker makes films out of love for what they do rather than for money and fame. I appreciate her take on amateurs, because as an amateur filmmaker in college, it can be daunting to hear about how cut throat the business can be. I never saw being an amateur filmmaker as a good thing, but Deren reveals how much freedom amateurs truly have with their creative ideas. Deren writes "Instead of trying to invent a plot that moves, use the movement or win or water, children, people, elevators, balls etc. as a poet might celebrate these.", and I love this thought because many professionals do not have that wiggle room to explore and create freely. They work under time constraints and authority, and if they do not deliver, they are fired. Film should be about creative expression and cannot be put into a box. As a filmmaker, Deren opened my eyes to see the beauty of being an amateur.

With all of the artistic freedom being an amateur filmmaker has to offer, that means they are able to explore film in ways others cannot. The most explorative of all genres is definitely experimental. But what exactly is experimental film? Fred Camper wrote an article, What is Experimental Film?, where he listed 6 criteria that most avant-garde/experimental films possess. I learned about these criteria in my 205 class, however it was a nice refresher for me. One quality I like about experimental is the fact that the filmmaker takes on multiple roles with his or her film - this gives the filmmaker an incredible amount of freedom without having to worry about communication problems and he or she can truly make the film based on what he or she wants, not what others want. I have always been a fan of Stan Brakhage, the way he manipulates film by scratching or painting on the strips and uses color to create a new aesthetic is intriguing. Experimental has that ability to call attention to the fact that it's a film. The viewer is given the opportunity to interpret however he or she wants, which is what I think all film should be like to an extent. It is so easy for viewers to passively watch films. With experimental, it is nearly impossible to watch something so visually striking and not be engaged. I believe that is why I am so intrigued by experimental film.