My Cucalorus Experience!!!

This was my first year attending Cucalorus in Downtown Wilmington. I did not know what to expect, for I have never been to any film festival. I really enjoyed myself, however! I went to all of my screenings this past Thursday. Although I saw five very different feature length films, I did have a favorite. The first film I watched was Forever Pure. It was a feature length documentary about Beitar Jerusalem, the leading professional soccer team in Jerusalem. I had not read the description before purchasing my ticket, yet I was pleased with the subject matter. I am a soccer fan, and I happen to love documentaries, so the pair was a match made in heaven. At first, I thought this film was going to tackle surface level soccer rivalries, but it extended so much farther than that. The film dealt with societal issues regarding race and religion, going beyond the soccer field. Beitar Jerusalem's owner decided to draft two Chechen transfers. This sparked outrage amongst La Familia, Beitar Jerusalem's fan base. Israel has always been against Arabs, therefore why would sports be any different. The fan base dissipated, thus the team starting losing during the season. I had hope that the film would end on a happy note, and in a way it did for some players. Ariel Harush, the former captain, went on to become a star player for Beitar Jerusalem's top rival. Ofir Kriaf became the new captain. The new transfers played for other teams. But Beitar's new management said they would never sign another Arab, which infuriated me. Stylistically, the film was extremely well made, and all the B-roll completed the subject matter beautifully. This film reminded me of a film we screened in FST 200 about soccer not only being a sport, but a livelihood in other countries. It is a massive part of some country's society and culture, therefore has major influence on the way people interact with one another.

Cucalorus Screening Plan

As the week of Cucalorus is approaching, I have started planning out which films/workshops I hope to attend. I want to take advantage of not having class on Thursday, therefore I am going to a few features. The first is a documentary feature titled "Forever Pure" and that screening is from 1:30-3pm in Thalian Main. The next few features are narratives: "Fare" from 4:15-5:45pm in Thalian Black, "Women Who Kill" from 7-9pm, and "She's Allergic to Cats" from 10:15-11:59pm.

I'm trying to decide when to see another event. Dancealorus, which happens on Wednesday night, sounds interesting. I am also considering a few shorts events on Sunday.

Self Portrait Film Concept

A self portrait film is an artistic work that mirrors its creator. The project can show one aspect of the person, or many aspects, and in order to successfully do so, one must know oneself. Although I feel like I have a strong sense of self, I wanted to get other opinions. I asked my Facebook friends what they think of when they think of me: passions? personality traits? first impressions?

Here were some of the answers:

• Go-getter
• Dreamer
• Bubbly personality
• Tries everything once
• Fearless
• Talented
• Adventure-seeking
• Confident
• Hardworker
• Sporty
• Amiable
• Christ impassioned

Taking all of these into account, along with my own self analysis, I decided to show a change over time. While those around me find it difficult to believe, I was not always the extroverted, talkative, adventurous woman I am today. Before coming to college, I was burdened with insecurities, which ultimately pulled me away from others. I let my insecurities mask themselves as shyness, and as a result I avoided making friends, trying new things, and exploring. 

The old Lauren constantly dealt with an internal battle: I knew what I wanted to do, and that was to try various sports, talk to everyone I came in contact with, join the school choir, explore other areas of interests with my artistic abilities. But my actions spoke differently. I hid amongst my small friend group, did not try any sports, quit dance, went to school and then went home. It was as simple as that, but there was no satisfaction. Often I felt invisible, brought on mostly by myself. I rarely pushed myself to step outside my comfort zone. I liked being just another face one passes in the hallway, or so I thought. Not only did I confine myself, but I felt confine by society. Society told me based on my gender, I had to act a certain way. I had to be "lady like" all the time, meaning I had to wear dresses, cross my legs, refrain from using bad language, and not surround myself with guys. This became problematic. While I have never been a tom boy, I do enjoy participating in activities that society considers "boyish". I enjoy playing sports, video games, and anything outdoors. I like to wear comfortable clothes (although indulge in the occasional dress or skirt). I get along with guys very well, therefore a lot of my time is spent with guy friends. Internally, I wanted to be myself - play sports, go on adventures, push myself. Externally, I stuck with my usual routine.

College. Things began to change. This acceptance letter was my one way ticket to freedom. Freedom from the constraints tied so tightly around my body and mind. I knew college would provide an avenue for finding my true self, and I came at it with full force. Immediately, I became a social butterfly. I made many friends, both guys and girls, joined a worship team to expand my talents, declared a film major, and have been loving life ever since. Slowly I began to stand out from the crowd, a feeling I thought I might never experience. I have reached a point in my life where I am perfectly content with myself and have the confidence to express who I am. 

With all of this in mind, I wanted to use this project to show the drastic change in my personality from high school to college. For the first half of the video, I wanted to keep everything in black and white, then slowly introduce color to further hint at a transition from old to new. To pull in aspects o my artistic side, I wanted to layer shots of my arms or leg against a background, and using body paint to blend my body into the frame through camouflage - this point is to show my desire to be invisible. But slowly I wanted to fade and expose myself. I plan on doing a voiceover narration, and filming on my GoPro. Basically, I am going to take everyone on an adventure through my day to day life, with POV shots. I still have a lot more to think about conceptually, but this is my basic idea. It's a starting point.